Goin Back To Beethoven
Written by Bill Schwarz
Performed by Eclectricity

The day they built that Opryland was when I said "Hell, I'm through."
'Cause when Hollywood moved to Nashville moved to Malibu.
And when them Oak Ridge Boys quit gospel, that's the day they sold their soul.
Well they used to sing Rock of Ages. Nowadays they sing Rock 'n Roll.

Chorus:
And country music gives me heartburn. Charlie Daniels turns my spleen.
And Crystal Gale makes my face pale as any satin sheets you've seen.
I'm tired of hearing songs about cheatin', Margaritas and driving trucks.
I'm goin' back to Beethoven 'cause country music sucks.

I'm gonna buy another TV set to alleviate distress.
Oh you can watch your "Hee Haw", honey, while I watch my PBS.
And when the weekend finally rolls around, we both want to take off.
Why you can go see Willie Nelson. I'll go see Barishnikov.

Chorus:
And country music gives me heartburn. Mickey Gilly turns my spleen.
And Crystal Gale makes my face pale as any satin sheets you've seen.
I'm tired of hearing songs about cheatin', Margaritas and driving trucks.
I'm goin' back to Mozart 'cause country music sucks.

The day that George and Tammy finalized their D-I-V-O-R-C-E,
Well it surely was a big P-A-I-N in the A-S-S for me.
But now they still sing songs together, not for love but just for bucks.
That's just another reason why this country music sucks.

Chorus:
And country music gives me heartburn. M-m-mell T-t-tillis t-t-turns my spleen.
And Crystal Gale makes my face pale as any satin sheets you've seen.
I'm tired of hearing songs about cheatin', Margaritas and driving trucks.
I'm goin' back to Johannes Brahms 'cause country music sucks.

Now way up in hillbilly Heaven they all say, "Where'd we go wrong?"
Whenever they hear the lyrics of the latest country song.
Yes, and this song's no exception, and the truth to you I'll tell.
Someday I'll meet up with the stars of hillbilly Hell.

Chorus:
Country music gives me heartburn. The Mandrell Sisters turn my spleen.
And Crystal Gale makes my face pale as any satin sheets you've seen.
I'm tired of hearing songs about cheatin', Margaritas and driving trucks.
I'm goin' back to Beethoven 'cause country music sucks.
I said, "I'm goin' back to Beethoven 'cause country music sucks."